Yvonne
PHOTOGRAPHED BY MORGANA WINGARD
FITCHBURG, MASSACHUSETTS: I was doing a lot before the shutdown: partying with friends, traveling. So, I could have caught it anywhere. I have no idea. I just didn't think it would get back to me to be honest.
There was also this rumor that Black people weren't getting it, or they weren’t dying because it hadn’t hit Africa yet.
One day in March I started getting randomly dizzy and then I realized that I couldn't smell anything after my mom asked me to smell a bag of oranges.
Suspecting I might have corona,I called the Board of Health in Massachusetts three times. Each time they said my symptoms weren’t severe enough, so I couldn’t be tested.
Three days later, I walked from a chair to my bed and I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was drowning. I called my mom who was upstairs, and she ran down. There was no other choice. I had to go to the hospital, so she called 911.
The ambulance came quickly.
I definitely didn't think I'd ever be in that position. But, they made me feel so comfortable making jokes. And, I felt a lot better after they gave me oxygen.
My mom wanted to come of course, but they wouldn't allow her in the ambulance because they were trying to limit how many people were exposed. All she could do was throw me my phone charger as she cried with worry.
As soon as I got there, they put me in a COVID-19 area. Nobody was allowed to come in other than a nurse or a doctor. I was in the emergency room for maybe three to four hours before they moved me to a room.
They confirmed I tested positive for COVID-19 about three days later. Through a CAT scan and X-rays they also found dark spaces in my lungs. They couldn't figure out where they came from until they realized it was pneumonia.
I have no pre-existing conditions besides a few surgeries. I’ve had maybe 10. The doctors think that may have caused my immune system to be weak.
While I waited for the answer to my test, I tried to prepare myself for either result. I decided if I was positive, I come out because people needed to know.
While I was in the hospital watching the news, I could not find anyone who looked like me. There was still this rumor that Black people couldn’t get COVID-19. I wanted to see somebody that looked like me and I felt like people needed to know what was going on. Even though the state was shut down, there were still underground parties. If I could help just one person, that was enough. I just felt this weight on myself that I had to help.
I posted a video explaining my symptoms a few hours before getting my results.
After I received my positive result, I shared another post on IG, YouTube, and Facebook.
When I went public, a lot of people were shocked. At the time I was the only one they had seen or known personally who had it.
Of course there's the doubters—people think that you're making it up so that's expected, but it was mostly very supportive.
I would talk about how I was feeling at the time. I would warn people. I would tell people about my experience. I wanted to be honest and that's why I did it at the time because I wanted people to see me at my worst, so they could know how real this is so they don’t end up in the same position.
Going through COVID-19 was terrible, but seeing how it was affecting my family, especially my mom, was the hardest part. She was really, really scared, because she couldn't be with me. She reminded me God was watching over me and I could get through anything. She also prayed for my healing and recovery. My mom was my rock. She did a phenomenal job of getting me through it with prayer, receipts, and her positive energy.
Maybe two and a half weeks after I left the hospital that's when I felt better. I started to not be tired when I walked. My sense of smell hadn't come back yet, but my sense of taste did.
“ I took a few days to just sit and reflect on a lot of things. Something I realized I hadn’t done for a few weeks. I was mainly concerned with getting better and going back to my old self. The truth I’m having to accept is I’ll never be exactly like before. I’d like to think I’m a pretty strong person and have overcome a few things prior to the coronavirus but I can without a doubt say the most scared I’ve ever been was when I was gasping for air not too long ago. Some experiences change you. That one did. The virus has changed me internally and mentally. I’d like to say I’m a 100% but I would be lying. I’m working towards it but I’m still not there even weeks later. See when I had the virus I’d have one good day followed by one bad day. Now, I’m having one great week followed by one bad day. It’s strange to explain but there’s still something lingering in my body. Something that hasn’t quite left yet even though I’m negative. ”
I think COVID has taught me that in every situation that you think is terrible that there is always better behind it. I thought COVID was terrible, but it birthed a better, happier person. I just didn't think that would happen. So, it taught me to look at the positive things and to learn from whatever's happening, even if it's bad.
While I was recovering I had a lot of time to myself. I couldn't go back to work. I thought about the things that I love to do. I asked myself, “What do I want to do?” I love makeup. “Why haven't you started a makeup brand?” I asked myself. “You've always wanted to. If you died, would you have died knowing that you did everything that you wanted to do?” I realized, “No I wouldn't have felt like I had achieved all the things I wanted.” That's when I started thinking about a cosmetic line inspired by melanin. One of the most frustrating things as a brown woman is finding lip gloss and lipstick that compliments my skin tone. I was frustrated with going into stores or ordering nude lipsticks online to only find them looking like powdered donuts when applied. So I decided to do something about it. I created a fun candy themed and melanin friendly lip glosses & lipsticks product line called Sugar Candy Cosmetics. I want to make a line specifically for women who felt like they weren't accepted out there. I want to make something that's universal. Other women can try the cosmetics as well, but I want to make sure they are centralized on brown and dark skin. I’m trying to make it fun and exciting while also educational giving names with educational meanings to some of the products.
It’s the proudest I’ve ever been of myself and the happiest I've been. I’m doing something for me that makes me happy. Hopefully it will help other women be happy as well.
