Kyle

I was twenty-nine and turning 30, and I remember thinking I wouldn't see my 30th birthday.

WYOMING, WIND RIVER: I started to show symptoms soon after my roommate. But it was confusing because Covid wasn't super widespread and it wasn't really known at the time.

I had known a few people who had it, but it was kind of like, “Oh, that's not going to happen to me.” We'd been around people so many times with it, like when we were feeding the homeless, we just felt a little invincible.

The first symptom I had was just a headache.

Then, I woke up in a sweat. But, once I got out of bed, I felt fine, and I could kind of go throughout my day fine.

But I think that's the danger of it — some of the things that hit you aren't the same as other people: I never lost my taste or smell. I never had any breathing issues. I never had a cough. A lot of the clear signs of it never happened to me. 

I really just had that one night, and then I had a little bit of a headache and then diarrhea. 

But my biggest thing is I just had two days where my body was out of it — going up the stairs was really tiring, and then trying to eat, but not feeling up to it. It was just low energy. But I never was scared. 

It really wasn't bad, and that's why when I first got Covid, it wasn't that big of a deal. 

But, three weeks after I had my first relapse of what I began to study and learn was probably long-term Covid. And I still even kind of deal with some stuff. 

I was living a pretty normal life. But I had to get tested for work, and I wasn't getting a negative test -- it kept coming back positive, but I was well over my ten days.

One day, they did the test where it goes way up your nose. As soon as I came back to work, I felt like I had an immense sinus infection and an overwhelming headache. Then my body started to feel weak. 

It felt like someone was putting boulders on my chest and my head. 

But I just never got better. I was down and out really bad for a week. It felt like I had Covid, the real Covid, like the one that is scary and would make me need to go to the ER. But, I didn’t want to call the ambulance, and I didn't feel well enough to drive myself.  So I took a bath, and I listened to worship music.

It’s hard when you live alone and you're not around anyone. Especially with the stigma of Covid, you couldn't go to a neighbor. I couldn't go anywhere because I didn’t want to put anyone else in danger. So, I was just alone in my house, isolated.

I remember feeling like it was never going to end. 

I was afraid to go to sleep but going to sleep was my only escape. It was the only time where I felt like I was okay. But then I would wake up and feel like I couldn’t breathe. Then I was afraid to go to sleep. And so I was afraid to be awake and afraid to go to sleep. 

I was mentally in a scary place. I wanted to be in a coma and then just wake up when I was better.

I was twenty-nine and turning 30, and I remember thinking I wouldn't see my 30th birthday.

For a week or two, I would feel like I was dying. And then I'd have one or two days where I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It would confuse people because I'd have like two good days, and then I would get this smell in my nose, and I would relapse.

I would wake up, and parts of my body would feel overwhelmed within themselves — like a flush of nerves from head to toe. It reminds me of anxiety somewhat. I think I had a lot of issues with my nervous system.

After I'd eat, I would have body aches and feel paralyzed. I had to lay down. I got winded easily. I couldn't exercise.

And then I started getting gastro issues. I burped all the time.

About four to five months in, I started to get heart palpitations, high blood pressure, low blood pressure. It would fluctuate. It was just horrible. And then I started I'd get this like really, really tight, like feeling in my chest and this sharp pain right here where my heart is. It comes and goes.

Every time I stood up, I had a lot of shortness of breath.

I was dizzy all the time. I got vertigo too. I started leaning into things, and it was really disorientating.

I had an EKG, and they said there was an irregular heartbeat. And the way it was pumping was not how it was supposed to be. 

People just don't believe it, even after we've lost people and you deal with people who have long-term symptoms. We didn't have a voice for a long time. People wouldn't even listen to you. People told me, “Don't own it. Don’t speak those words over yourself. You don't have long-term Covid.” But putting a name on it is what gave me my freedom. Before, my mind would be all over.

Long-term Covid was the worst thing I have ever been through in my life. And I had to do a lot of it alone. And a lot of it was dealing with people who didn't know what it was or understand it, or people telling you that it's fake and it's all in your head.

I prayed and prayed and had so many people pray for me, and I felt like I wasn't getting better. But after nine months, I finally feel like I can live a normal life now. Sometimes I still burp. Sometimes I still get chest pain. But outside of that, I'm doing decently.

I have PTSD from it. Anytime I get any sort of sickness, I'm afraid it's back. It was just no fun. I hope to never go back there again.