Joanna

“I used to run five to seven miles three days a week, and then a ten to fifteen mile run on the weekends… I felt like I had been hit by a truck… I can’t remember being that sick since I had strep throat in my early twenties.”

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK: I didn’t have any pre-existing conditions. I was healthy. I was preparing for the New York marathon. I always keep up a certain level of mileage because I do races all the time that are shorter like half-marathons, 10ks, 5ks, etc. I used to run five to seven miles three days a week, and then a ten to fifteen mile run on the weekends. 

At first, COVID seemed distant. Then it was like a freight train coming right at us. I had a lot of anxiety about the pandemic looming over everything, like a nightmare come true. I had so much fear about getting it that once I got sick, I felt as if I surrendered.

I started having symptoms on Tuesday, March 17th. I had gone for a run with a friend and as I was coming back, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I had acute muscle pain. I felt feverish. I texted my friend who is a nurse and told her about how I felt. She immediately asked me to check my temperature and I found out I had a fever. She told me to isolate myself as if I had COVID. I can’t remember being that sick since I had strep throat in my early twenties. 

The fever was like a roller coaster going up to 101 and crashing down over and over. I had it from Tuesday- Saturday with intense body pains, so bad they kept me up at night. I also had chills, shivering, headaches, a scratchy throat, stuffy nose, coughs, and basically lost my voice for several days. I gradually developed respiratory symptoms too. I felt congestion and tightness in my chest. I never had a telltale dry cough that people had with COVID. Mine was much more phlegmy. 

It wasn’t until the fever went away and I had that day of constant shivering that I felt like I couldn’t breathe well. The congestion got worse. I freaked out and called my friend. She noticed my breathing and told me I should go to urgent care to get my lungs checked for pneumonia. I went to CitiMD and had an x-ray. The doctor said I didn’t have pneumonia but I did have some inflammation from coughing. He prescribed an inhaler. It was definitely scary, and the fever made me feel delirious all the time. 

I don’t have a primary care doctor because I changed my insurance. I tried asking my insurance company but they didn’t know how to help me. I called 311, told them that I thought I had COVID and they were clueless. The doctor I spoke to over a virtual consultation thought I did have COVID and referred me for testing but then someone from HHS called and said I shouldn’t get tested unless I needed hospitalization. It wasn't until three months later that I got an antibody test that was positive, and then I knew for sure I had it. 

I lost my mother last July to breast cancer. She was fighting it for over fifteen years. In the last eight years of her life, it was stage four and spread into her skin. We were very close to each other. Losing her was a huge loss for me. I think grieving her while living through a pandemic and being socially isolated was really difficult for me and for my family.

There's something about being that sick that makes me want my mom, which I think is common for a lot of us. I thought about her the whole time. I talked to her a lot especially when I was very feverish. I was imagining her, my aunt, and my grandma — all of whom are deceased — standing around my bed giving me advice. I think I was hallucinating rather than dreaming because I was awake but it felt so real. Once I told my mom I was scared of dying alone. She said, “Listen to me: you are never alone.” 

My grandma asked me to eat something, which is something she would definitely have said. My aunt told me that I was going to be fine. It was actually very comforting. Hearing these women who nurtured me my whole life talking me through this difficulty gave me tremendous relief. 

I don’t have any lingering symptoms. I feel really lucky about that. I waited for 72 hours after my symptoms went away and then went for a run. I definitely was a little out of shape but was able to run three miles and I felt fine. Especially compared to some of my friends who had COVID and after months of recovering, they still can’t go for a run. I am very fortunate that I had a  relatively mild case. 

Symptoms: High fever, body pain, scratchy throat, stuffy nose, cough.

Treatment:   Aspirin, Muncinex, inhaler  

Post-Covid symptoms: none 

Joanna is a poet and runner living in Brooklyn. Her book of poetry, Running for Trap Doors (Sibling Rivalry Press) was nominated for a Lambda Literary Award and featured in the American Library Association's list of recommended LGBT reading for 2014. In 2015, she was honored by the (Obama) White House as a Champion for Change for LGBTQ advocacy through art. She is also a member of Front Runners New York.