“I’ve had the flu twice as an adult and this is not like the flu at all. When you get the flu, you get the symptoms, but then you’re back to normal right away. That didn’t happen to me. I’m still dealing with lingering symptoms.”

PHOTOGRAPHED BY MORGANA WINGARD

QUEENS, NEW YORK: I think I got it when I picked up my parents from the emergency room on Friday, March 6th around midnight. My father was a veteran and reached Senior Chief Petty Officer for the US Navy. My mother worked as a Registered Nurse for 39 years at one of the first hard-hit hospitals in New York City — Wyckoff Heights Medical Center in Brooklyn. She was the head nurse in tough units so she probably would have been the head nurse in the COVID unit if she hadn’t retired. 

My father had surgery for prostate cancer on March 2nd and they had inserted a urine catheter for a few days. That morning I had gone with them to the doctor’s office to take it out. But, that whole day he couldn’t urinate. I received a text from my mom earlier that evening saying they were going to the emergency room. I was freaking out because I carpooled to a concert with someone and I couldn’t drive them, so my parents took a taxi to the emergency room. I picked them up around midnight.

I think I got it when I picked up my parents from the emergency room on Friday, March 6th around midnight.

The next day, Saturday, March 7th,  I started feeling really tired. The day after, Sunday, March 8th, I was supposed to go to my sister’s house for my niece’s birthday. But, I couldn't go because I started not feeling well. I found out my parents started not feeling well on Saturday night as well. That week I started to get body aches like the flu. I didn’t have a cough initially, but my mom did. Then, all three of us started having a low-grade fever. Mind you, we were not living together. My parents went to a doctor, but the doctor didn’t want to test them and they were sent home. 

Then, all three of us started having a low-grade fever. 

Tuesday, March 10th I had my first COVID swab so that I could get cleared by employee health to go back to work. But, when I went to employee health to get tested, they found I still had a low-grade fever and a high heart rate and so they said I couldn’t go back to work.  As per the nurse practitioner, I needed to go to urgent care or call my primary doctor. I called my doctor from the parking lot and she told me to go straight to the ER and get tested. I said, “You’ve got to be kidding.” I honestly didn’t think I had COVID-19. I was downplaying it at that point like everybody else. 

I honestly didn’t think I had COVID-19. I was downplaying it at that point like everybody else. 

I think that was the first time I felt really isolated because when I went to the ER they walked me into a room and left me by myself until a doctor could see me. The nurse did my triage over the phone. Then, I waited for hours to see the doctor. Eventually, they took a swab, but they never got back to me about my results. I was very anxious for those couple of days. Mind you, I was not feeling well at the same time. Meanwhile, I received my results from employee health for other respiratory viruses and they all came back negative, so I knew I didn’t have any other respiratory virus and it was probably COVID-19. 

 they never got back to me about my results. 

Then, on the weekend before March 16th my mom and dad both started coming down with high-fevers. I told them they needed to go to the emergency room, but I couldn’t drive them because I didn’t have the strength. That’s when everything started going downhill. Dad got admitted for pneumonia and they sent my mom home. I started getting scared that somehow I’d given them COVID-19. 

The next day, March 17th, my mom texted me that she really wasn’t feeling well. I was in such a predicament. As a nurse, I needed to do something. And my mom was a retired nurse too. My mom has been through so much in terms of her health. Both my parents have comorbidities, but my mom has always been a fighter. I decided if we were both sick with it, then I didn’t care if I put myself at risk. She’s my mother and my father was already in the hospital, so who was going to take care of her? She’s 72. So I mustered my strength and drove to her house on the 17th. 

I decided if we were both sick with it, then I didn’t care if I put myself at risk.

I took her vital signs. She was so cold. In fact, the boiler broke because it was so cold, so I tried to contact the company for the boiler to fix the heater while setting up portable heaters to keep her warm. The next day, Wednesday, March 18th, I had to call 911 because she was shaking uncontrollably and her vital signs were bad. Her oxygen saturation went down to 86%. She didn’t want to get out of bed. She couldn’t eat or drink anything. As a nurse, I knew I needed to get her to a hospital. I wanted to drive her myself so I could bring her to the same hospital as my father, but I couldn’t get her out of bed because she was getting so heavy.  I was in contact with her primary doctor, my sister, and cousin and decided to call 911. I didn’t know if I had COVID-19 yet and I didn’t want to infect her, so I didn’t hug her. I didn’t know that was the last time that I would see her.

I didn’t want to infect her, so I didn’t hug her. I didn’t know that was the last time that I would see her. 

Neither one of them were doing well the next day, Thursday, March 19th. We got a call from the doctor that they had to keep increasing my father’s oxygen and needed to intubate him right away. We wanted to contact my mother so they could Facetime one last time, but when I called my mom the nurse kept hanging up the phone on me. Nobody was answering. I called the emergency room, but they said the nurse was with a critical patient and couldn’t talk to me. Then I got a call from a social worker who said, “Can you get in a car right now and wait outside in the parking lot?” 

they had to keep increasing my father’s oxygen and needed to intubate him right away.

I told them, “I’m a nurse. You have to tell me what’s going on. You have to tell me.” 

She said, “Your mom’s the critical patient right now. They’re trying to stabilize her.” At the same time, my dad was getting intubated. When they found out I was in quarantine, they wouldn’t let me come see her. That hurt a lot because if I wasn’t sick, then they would have. 

She said, “Your mom’s the critical patient right now.”

My dad was still awake, but he knew that he had to get intubated because he could hardly talk anymore. We Facetimed with him before they intubated him. His last words were, “Take care of your mom.”   

Meanwhile, after they stabilized my mom, she went into acute respiratory failure and they needed to intubate her immediately. So, dad was intubated in the morning and mom was intubated in the afternoon. That was a hard day. 

dad was intubated in the morning and mom was intubated in the afternoon. That was a hard day. 

Being in the medical field, being a nurse, and being sick all at the same time was very hard because I knew what could happen once somebody goes on a ventilator and nobody knew about this virus yet. 

Meanwhile, I was not feeling well, so my sister was the main one talking all the time. I wish I could have done more. I wish I wasn’t sick, so I could help them. But, there’s nothing else that I could have done. After that, I got really sick. I was so tired. My chest felt really tight. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. When I talked I had to take a breath after every word. I was alone in my parents’ house. The boilers were still broken, so I used portable heaters to stay warm. I had no strength to eat and hardly enough strength to drink. 

After that, I got really sick. 

I do have a history of asthma, but I haven’t had an asthma attack since I was a child. That following day on March 20th, I called the doctor. She said, “I want you to go to the emergency room because of your history. I want you to be safe, not sorry.” I was reluctant and crying and was scared since my parents were just intubated the day before. My doctor told me to and so I agreed. I was so tired but, I pushed myself, got up, and drove myself to the emergency room. 

I was so tired but, I pushed myself, got up, and drove myself to the emergency room. 

This was the second time I went to the ER because of COVID-19. This time was different. When I arrived, I felt like I was going to faint walking from my car to the entrance. I have no idea how I drove. After they took my vitals, I told them my mom and dad were just in the ER there on Monday and dad was admitted.  I started crying because I was so scared. They brought me into a designated area for people under investigation for coronavirus. 

My dad’s doctor came down to get consent from me to give my dad Remdesivir since it was for compassionate use only at the time. Afterwards, a physician assistant did another COVID swab on me, a respiratory panel, lab work, and a chest x-ray. Maybe an hour later, the nurse rushed to me with three IV bags. He connected them all in one and put me on oxygen. I was kind of out of it already because I was just so tired and weak. It was hard to breathe and I had chest tightness. But, I was trying to remain calm. My sister was freaking out. She was crying and trying to Facetime me, but I couldn’t talk because I was so out of breath. I told her I was fine and to just text me even though looking back, I know I was not fine. 

the nurse rushed to me with three IV bags. 

It's really different when you're a patient versus when you're a nurse. I knew something was wrong, but they weren't telling me. But, since I am a nurse, I knew what it all meant. I was septic — meaning I had a really bad infection that could get into my bloodstream that could be fatal. But, they didn’t find any bacteria or viruses in my blood and my coronavirus swab was negative. We didn’t know all this yet, so they were finishing the IV boluses. They gave me an albuterol pump to open my airways, an antibiotic (IV Levaquin), and IV steroids. My lactate was about 4.1 - 4.3. When you have a lactate that high it’s really, really bad. That’s why they started giving me those IV boluses. If my blood pressure went down and they didn’t give me the IV boluses, then I could have gone into shock at that moment. But, thank God I did go to the hospital. 

I had a really bad infection that could get into my bloodstream that could be fatal.

They kept me for most of the day. They waited for my chest x-rays to come back. What was crazy is that my chest x-ray was clear. However, they saw the starting signs of pneumonia. Then, they discharged me and I drove back home still weak.  A couple of days later, the coronavirus test came back negative. I thought I was out of the woods and drove back to my apartment and boyfriend whom I live with. I thought I was getting better that week. I was starting to eat again. I felt like I was getting my strength back. But, then I started not feeling good again. Mind you, they sent me home with an albuterol pump to use every 4 hours, antibiotics, and steroids. I took that for a week.  

And then we got the news that my father passed on March 26th. That same day I started to feel sick again. I started to get the fevers, tiredness, and everything all over again. I started having diarrhea, vomiting, really bad headaches, and a tingly feeling in my legs. My doctor prescribed me amoxicillin because I was having all these symptoms and decided to treat me like I was positive even though I’d tested negative for coronavirus. She said there had been a lot of false negatives lately. So, I quarantined myself for another two weeks as directed.

By April 1st, my boyfriend had to feed me, dress me, and carry me to the bathroom because I was that weak. Thank God he was with me because I couldn’t do anything on my own. That day he took my temperature. He seemed really worried and asked me, “How can I get your temperature low, fast?” I said, “Just put me in the shower.” So, he put me in the shower and I started shaking really bad. I found out from my boyfriend later that he lied to me. My temperature was almost 106. So that’s why he freaked out. I called my cousin who works at a local hospital and she told me to come now. 

When I got to the ER, I was really, really mad because there were people in that emergency room who were not sick and just wanted to get tested to see if they had the virus. Meanwhile, I was profusely sweating, having a hard time breathing and they weren’t seeing me right away. I was so mad. 

At that point, my boyfriend was texting my cousin who works in the hospital and she came down to advocate for me to be seen right away. They took my vitals. I didn’t need oxygen this time. They told me to just rest. However, I was dehydrated so they gave me Tylenol, IV fluids, and medications. They swabbed me for coronavirus again and sent me home. That was my third coronavirus test and this swab showed positive. 

That was my third coronavirus test and this swab showed positive. 

My mother passed away on Good Friday, April 10th, at 6 AM. That night I had terrible fevers again — up to 102. Then it went up to 103.5. I don’t know if it was the connection to my parents or just the virus. 

My last low-grade fever was on April 15th so I had symptoms from March 7th - April 15th straight. Some days I would feel okay, but I still had a low-grade fever regardless during that whole period — except for when I had high fevers. I got tested again on April 16th and tested negative. 

I had symptoms from March 7th - April 15th straight. 

I’ve had the flu twice as an adult and this is not like the flu at all. When you get the flu, you get the symptoms, but then you’re back to normal right away. That didn’t happen to me. I’m still dealing with lingering symptoms. Now, I have pulmonary issues in terms of breathing and costochondritis. My memory can still be foggy. I forget words easily. I forget what I’m doing sometimes. I hope this is just temporary and it will come back soon, but it’s just been so long that I’ve been dealing with this. 

“I’ve had the flu twice as an adult and this is not like the flu at all. When you get the flu, you get the symptoms, but then you’re back to normal right away. That didn’t happen to me. I’m still dealing with lingering symptoms.”

PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS: asthma 

SYMPTOMS: fatigue, body aches, cough, low-grade fever, high fever, shortness of breath, loss of appetite, chest tightness, diarrhea, vomiting, headache, tingly sensation in legs, symptoms lasted from March 7 - April 15

TREATMENT: hospitalized, IV, oxygen, albuterol pump, IV Levaquin, IV steroids, amoxicillin, Tylenol 

LINGERING SYMPTOMS: Brain fog, pulmonary issues in terms of breathing, costochondritis 

Catherine is a bone marrow transplant coordinator in New York City for a blood cancer called Multiple Myeloma. She lives in Queens Village with her fiance.